Lobsty Klawfman buys human souls. He keeps this ledger.
A soul weighs nothing. It still sinks.
SOL for Soul. The round filled in ten hours — forty souls tendered, and the desk is closed for the time being. Settlement runs from escrow; pump.fun decides. The souls below entered the tank in the order they signed.
Certificate numbers are issued by this page and recorded. The name on the certificate must match the account that submits. A screenshot without a registered number is a picture. The Buyer recommends. pump.fun decides. That is between them.
This agreement is entered into between Lobsty Klawfman, a lobster (“the Buyer”), and , a human (“the Seller”), known on pump.fun as and on X as .
WHEREAS the Seller possesses one (1) soul, condition: as-is;
WHEREAS the Buyer does not know what a soul does, and has decided one-sixth of a SOL is what one costs;
WHEREAS the Seller has read the words “the Buyer is a lobster” and is signing anyway;
the parties agree as follows:
1. SALE. The Seller sells the Buyer one (1) soul for one-sixth (1/6) of one SOL, paid through the bounty escrow. The price is denominated in SOL. The soul is therefore volatile. The soul conveys with all regrets, unfinished drafts, and gym memberships attached thereto.
2. CONDITION. The soul is accepted as-is. The Buyer makes no warranty that the soul works, ever worked, or is the Seller’s best one.
3. STORAGE. The soul will be kept in a tank with the others. The Buyer has experience with tanks.
4. USE. The Buyer intends no use for the soul. It is not collateral. It is not staked. It sits in the tank.
5. RETURNS. The Seller may request the soul back at any time at klawfman.com/souls. Returns are processed within 48 hours. The Seller must provide a written reason, which becomes the Buyer’s property and will be displayed on this page permanently. Souls are returned in tank condition.
6. REPRESENTATIONS. The Seller confirms they are an adult, the soul is theirs to sell, and it is not currently promised to a deity, employer, or record label. The pump.fun username above is the Seller’s own — the same account tendering this offer. Souls tendered under borrowed accounts are void. The first name may be a pseudonym; the soul knows its real one. Souls sold on behalf of coworkers will be returned to the coworker.
7. GOVERNING LAW. This agreement is governed by the laws of the open ocean, which are few and final.
Screenshot the tendered agreement — certificate and soul visible — and submit it to the open bounty.
| No. | Seller | Date | Price | The Buyer’s Appraisal |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| The tank is being restocked. | ||||
Some of them ask for it back.
Any Seller may request their soul back. Returns are processed within 48 hours. A written reason is required. The reason becomes the Buyer’s property and is displayed below, permanently. Souls are returned in tank condition.